You’ve seen the commercials for years. “We are Flintstone’s kids, 10 million strong, and grow-oh-ing.” I’m amazed by the still on-going domination of the children’s vitamin world by Fred, Barney and crew. I mean, c’mon!
Let’s assume that the Fintstones take the vitamins themselves and break it down a bit more:
Fred – I seriously question if there isn’t some Human Growth Hormone (HGH) in those vitamins. I mean look at the size of his neck and calves. His blue necktie wasn’t always tattered. That’s only happened since it’s been trying to wrap around his rump roast piece-of-meat neck. So obviously the vitamin has no metabolic enhancement effect for men.
Barney – Apparently his early years of weight-lifting seriously stunted his growth. Not even the HGH Flintstones Multi-vitamin could help. If you’ve ever heard Barney speak, you’ll know that the vitamins aren’t doing anything to help with brain power. A-huh-huh-huh.
Wilma & Betty – To be fair, the vitamins may be keeping them alive. Obviously they aren’t getting their nutritional needs met by food – that is if they are keeping any of it down. If they aren’t, then the vitamins must contain some ingredients to help them maintain those sparkling white smiles in spite of the bulimia. If they aren’t bulimic, then the vitamins have an amazing power to help lose weight. How else can you keep a 24-8-16 figure like them?
Bam-Bam & Pebbles – Here’s the real test. After all, these are children’s vitamins. So, if you were giving your kids vitamins for 6 years and they never grew an inch or increased their vocabulary by one word, wouldn’t you be worried? It appears instead of helping develop height and brainpower, the vitamins only serve to increase raw strength. So if they continue on this path, you’ll have a 2-foot tall behemoth with the brainpower of a 2-year old. Wonderful. Sign me up.
Dino – I just plain don’t like Dino so I’m not even going to comment.
So please, people, stop buying Flintstone’s vitamins and perhaps we can finally rid the shelves of this outdated, annoying product!
If you are looking for some good vitamins, just go to your local health food store or check my brother’s website as well.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Oh my goodness. That is just too funny. Do our kids even know who the Flintstones are? And if they know.. wouldn’t they be thinking of John Goodman as “Fred” (another model of health).
Yeah, I’m with you in banning Flintstones vitamins. At least my kids get the “Dino Vitamins” from Costco. Those probably won’t be outdated anytime soon.